NYC?

I lost my job this month. Which no one wants to lose their job...at the same time, this opens up a WHOLE new world of opportunities. This now means I have nothing tying me to Texas. Of course, my family is here, but I hardly get to see them anyway. It takes me 5 hours to drive home and it takes me 5 hours to fly home from NYC. So, essentially, I'd be just as close as far as time is concerned. I have my little Cooper, but I can take him with me. Derek is here, but he might as well not be. Our relationship has been without a pulse for a while now.

My friend Lindsay (and ex roommate - which I need to add, best roommate ever in there...) love NYC and I think she is pretty serious about the move as well. I just wish I could get things in order and get moved. The sooner the better. I need a clean break. I'm only young once, I only have one life, and I want to make the most of it. I have always been the type to follow my dreams and not give up. I don't want to give up on this. I've been given up on too much.

Catching up.............

AGAIN We are catching up. I'm not even sure the last time that I wrote. So...what is new. Well for starters I got a puppy on Saturday. He is a maltese and I named him Cooper. He is the most precious thing ever. Derek and I went and got him on Valentines day after a month of hint dropping and making lists of phone numbers. I am very fond of him right now, especially since he is the only one in the house that pays attention to me.

Derek and I moved in together last month. MISTAKE. Things are so different with us now. I'm not sure when the last time he hugged me or kissed me was. It gets lonely. A lot of times I think he'd be happier with out me and I should just leave. It is really like he could care less if I'm there. As long as he has his xbox he is fine. But then again, if I am gone, that means a messy house and no clean clothes.

We got in a fight after he had back surgery and it is almost like he hates me now. His mom stole his pain medication the day after his surgery. SERIOUSLY, what kind of a mother does that? Your son just had MAJOR surgery and is in pain and you steal medication from him. What the fuck?! Rather than be mad at her he has showered her with "Its okay" and "Don't worry about it" and "I love you." And due to his pain and lack of pain killers he took all his frustration out on me. Really?! If you want someone to bitch at, why don't you call your theiving, drug addicted mother and gripe her out.

I feel like I complain a lot too and it upsets me. I know I have a lot of bad things going on right now, but at the same time it could be way worse. I especially think about that when I think of my sister. Which if I haven't talked about that yet, I'll get into it. I could have some awful disease, I could be homeless, I could be disabled. There are a lot of things that could be worse. It is just hard to think about that when you are sad.