And again...

And here I am again. Today I have decided I have seriously given up on love. I am never going to know the joy of being a wife or having children. It is the most depressing thing for me, because now really, what do I have to live for? To just work and be by myself for the rest of my life? I regret so much not doing things I've wanted to do. I should have stayed in NYC. I was so lonely while I was there, but I am going to be lonely anyway, so why not. Maybe I will move back once my lease is up. I should have spent more time with family and friends. And to my family and friends I apologize...if I have ever blown you off I am so sorry.

Too many times I have been lied to, walked on, and taken advantage of. I am so sick and so, so very tired. Everything I have ever wanted came crashing down in a matter of minutes and now I am going to be alone. Forever. It sucks, it really does, but its far less painful than being lied to. No wonder I'm going to die young, God knows I have nothing to live for in the first place.

Valentine's Shmalentines

Okay, I already know what you are going to say..."you are an ugly, fat, single, depressed, bitter girl." While the ugly and fat part may be true, I am not single, not depressed, okay...maybe a little bitter. Valentine's Day is such a crock. Guys hate it. Really, they do. Its just one more day when they have to shell out a lot of money so their significant other will keep giving up the goods. Think about it. When a girl does something for a guy for on Valentine's day they put thought and effort into it. Not guys. Guys go into the mini mart an hour...hell..5 minutes before they see the girl and get the last card they can find. You know the ones that read, "Sorry I missed your Bar Mitzvah, but Happy Valentine's Day!" Then they scribble some "I love you, you are my world" shit into it. And this is done if they even remember Valentine's day.

I know when a guy has then sense to ask what you want for Valentine's day a lot of us girls reply with a coy "Oh...nothing." Yeah right. I'll be the first to admit, I say that, but I don't mean it. And I know, I know. Girls are hard to read. But when you actually make effort even though you are thinking she doesn't care, it really is the best thing you can do. If you don't love her, don't lead her on to think you do. If you do love her, let her know. Most of all, more than telling her, show her. Make it known, you remembered and that she is special to you.